Hello blog, Wow i don't know where to start, everything is so messed up, i tried refraining myself to blog that's cause i didn't want it to be all emo, but who am i kidding? so i went on with it after all it is my diary like a public one.

Right so where am i to start?

EXAMS

every time i hear the word OLEVLS it scares the day light out of me gosh, i cant sleep, i have to do something about it, the feeling is so unexplainable maybe there's a word for it i just don't know, well its some what like ‘OLEVEL’ and its as thou i am tipped off the edge of reality and falling into a black deep dark hole a never ending one, when u anxiously await for the thud and well you just don't get it, it hits you unexpectedly.

But i try to ease my panicking brain with excuses, which humans are used to or particularly me. I do it two way to ensure the calmness to last, one is to come up with an excuse and then supporting it, example don't panic the more you panic the less is absorbed by your brain and the supporting reason is when you look forward to something the pressure is just too much, block out the tension and focus as much as you can after all panicking gets you back to square one and focusing as much as you can in little time given might not get u all top but at least somewhere.

Am i weird for talking to myself?

HELL NO

its much better, you are your own friend and no this is not a excuse for a loner, its the truth no one knows you better than you do, in fact you might not know you talk to yourself the whole time, for me the brain and the hearts desire makes the best results, i am going to continue panicking, but i need to thou, to remind me not to become all idle and stop my self from resting my big fat ass (from all the emotional eating) on the couch.

ANOTHER THING IS MY FUTURE.

If olevels are gut-wrenching, what's in for the future, i mean like if i cant do this how can i take up anything else? is it because i have no school, no tuition, all on my own? these cant be a reason and definitely an excuse, then explain the eager minds, or could that be because people have different brain capacity? is this an excuse? i don't know but i m trying to give my all in all, which i haven't been lately, i am just so scared all i know is i asked for this, how many misleads is there? god help me please!

HOW WAS BEYONCE? ONLY LIKE AWESOME ISNT SHE.

her f1 custom made outfit, now that my son is what you call FLY.

Have you guys seen her ‘IF I WERE A BOY’ routine sick i tell u sick!

i never like the song thou until rkelly’s remix.

beyonce is god i love her mayne!

hope she comes to singapore again, off to the japan and middle east, hard @ work.

QUEEN B rules.

GOD I AM DYING TO WATCH THE VMA’s

stupid MTV.com, cant watch it at home since the screens @ my home are busy.

here's to inspirations that keeps you going, or at least the thoughts you have

CRIKEY.

TOODLES.

so long.

Hey ho moody whore!!

WOAH MADE NO SENSE!

how have yawl been??

I know like freaking long aye and i know aye i keep starting off with a ‘ i know its been freaking long AYE’ intro.

RIGHT, So lately i have been stressing out alot, and break out ( whats new i’ve got pimples all over my face), why stressing out, i dont know if i have mention this in my earlier post, but i want to talk about about it again, im so worried for my future like so freaking worried lets start with my age im 18 and many people might go your still young you have got a life ahead, bullcrap yall, i dont have a psle cert i have went up till 10 std in india and bailed on it and i was to write my nlevels in singapore and bailed on it and now preying on olevel, me argh im so angry with me, its like a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

there are so many mistakes i made like zillion in all, education wise, family wise, social wise, i freaking regret all grrrrrr i m so pissed of right now like all i ever think off is now this moment never thought of like in years time well if i stayed in india i would have got worms but at the same time i would have graduated and have gone to college nvm about that if i remained in northbrooks i would have stuck with my fellow classmates with a proper year of trainning for my nlevel but me my ass choose to drop out go to a EX school where i must say teachers do teach very well but then again drop out from there due to circumstances and now im all on my fucking own, do you know how scary is that?

In 20 days time my life is over like my life is over i would die, but the life i wanted to live is over, life is so effing scary, is it procrastination or this feeling in me where everything is going to be okay, i don't know what feeling it is, i would describe it as ignorance. really man. awww shucks. this is sucha pointless post, ahwell.

I MISS MY GORILLA!!!!

he’s so skinny and soo diffrent now, im glad we bald him, now i can pick his ticks out, poor maxu.

DAMN THIS TICKS!!1

lucky the tick on him are a size of a seasme seed you have no idea HOW big they can get ( size of a penny)

ANYWAY WHILE researching on ticks i came across this website, cant stop tearing as i read, i mean seriously this kind of people lives?

PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS WEBSITE HAS GRUESOME PICTURES

DONT WATCH IF YOUR WEAK AT HEART, i regret going there, the pictures are on my eyelids now.

http://www.compassionforcamden.org/mean1.html

how does she do it?????

the papadam is bigger that the mouth of the container! and NONE IS BROKE. how????

going to be heelping her the next time she fries them.

GAHHH I LOVE HIM i just love taking pictures of him and most of the time he will hold a pose. he is awesome!!!!!!

Bonjour from a fran-tic household!

LOL. get the inside joke??

I miss me blog!!!!!!

RIGHT UPDATES!

Max got a hair cut ( he’s bald) – my nails were bent backward thanks to max’s leash – i rollerbladed with max and he brought me around i did no work – bahvani turned 18 – nikki turned 18 – i turned 18 – thani is yet to turn 18 – gomathi has a long way to go to get to 18 – got inspired and whipped out 3 drawings in a night ( all abstract) – got my mp3 back (whootwhoot) – meet an asshole – learnt about being impressed – got knocked back into reality – learnt from comparing my life to a normal Australia lifestyle mine is more boring – realized how much we need electricity from the blackout mayhem @ home, and out hot water flask being spoiled, and when i left my handphone @ home just for the day – learnt that you have to get concert tickets A MONTH BEFORE THE DAY booohooo beyonce I FREAKING LOVE YOU .

Bahvani birthday.

Nikki’s birthday.

MAX before & after math,

FROM THIS TO….

…..THIS!

DRAWING

33 MORE DAYS, MAKE OR BREAK? I DIE !

TILL THEN.

LOVE j.

Hello blog, Wow i don't know where to start, everything is so messed up, i tried refraining myself to blog that's cause i didn't want it to be all emo, but who am i kidding? so i went on with it after all it is my diary like a public one.

Right so where am i to start?

EXAMS

every time i hear the word OLEVLS it scares the day light out of me gosh, i cant sleep, i have to do something about it, the feeling is so unexplainable maybe there's a word for it i just don't know, well its some what like ‘OLEVEL’ and its as thou i am tipped off the edge of reality and falling into a black deep dark hole a never ending one, when u anxiously await for the thud and well you just don't get it, it hits you unexpectedly.

But i try to ease my panicking brain with excuses, which humans are used to or particularly me. I do it two way to ensure the calmness to last, one is to come up with an excuse and then supporting it, example don't panic the more you panic the less is absorbed by your brain and the supporting reason is when you look forward to something the pressure is just too much, block out the tension and focus as much as you can after all panicking gets you back to square one and focusing as much as you can in little time given might not get u all top but at least somewhere.

Am i weird for talking to myself?

HELL NO

its much better, you are your own friend and no this is not a excuse for a loner, its the truth no one knows you better than you do, in fact you might not know you talk to yourself the whole time, for me the brain and the hearts desire makes the best results, i am going to continue panicking, but i need to thou, to remind me not to become all idle and stop my self from resting my big fat ass (from all the emotional eating) on the couch.

ANOTHER THING IS MY FUTURE.

If olevels are gut-wrenching, what's in for the future, i mean like if i cant do this how can i take up anything else? is it because i have no school, no tuition, all on my own? these cant be a reason and definitely an excuse, then explain the eager minds, or could that be because people have different brain capacity? is this an excuse? i don't know but i m trying to give my all in all, which i haven't been lately, i am just so scared all i know is i asked for this, how many misleads is there? god help me please!

HOW WAS BEYONCE? ONLY LIKE AWESOME ISNT SHE.

her f1 custom made outfit, now that my son is what you call FLY.

Have you guys seen her ‘IF I WERE A BOY’ routine sick i tell u sick!

i never like the song thou until rkelly’s remix.

beyonce is god i love her mayne!

hope she comes to singapore again, off to the japan and middle east, hard @ work.

QUEEN B rules.

GOD I AM DYING TO WATCH THE VMA’s

stupid MTV.com, cant watch it at home since the screens @ my home are busy.

here's to inspirations that keeps you going, or at least the thoughts you have

CRIKEY.

TOODLES.

so long.

Hey ho moody whore!!

WOAH MADE NO SENSE!

how have yawl been??

I know like freaking long aye and i know aye i keep starting off with a ‘ i know its been freaking long AYE’ intro.

RIGHT, So lately i have been stressing out alot, and break out ( whats new i’ve got pimples all over my face), why stressing out, i dont know if i have mention this in my earlier post, but i want to talk about about it again, im so worried for my future like so freaking worried lets start with my age im 18 and many people might go your still young you have got a life ahead, bullcrap yall, i dont have a psle cert i have went up till 10 std in india and bailed on it and i was to write my nlevels in singapore and bailed on it and now preying on olevel, me argh im so angry with me, its like a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

there are so many mistakes i made like zillion in all, education wise, family wise, social wise, i freaking regret all grrrrrr i m so pissed of right now like all i ever think off is now this moment never thought of like in years time well if i stayed in india i would have got worms but at the same time i would have graduated and have gone to college nvm about that if i remained in northbrooks i would have stuck with my fellow classmates with a proper year of trainning for my nlevel but me my ass choose to drop out go to a EX school where i must say teachers do teach very well but then again drop out from there due to circumstances and now im all on my fucking own, do you know how scary is that?

In 20 days time my life is over like my life is over i would die, but the life i wanted to live is over, life is so effing scary, is it procrastination or this feeling in me where everything is going to be okay, i don't know what feeling it is, i would describe it as ignorance. really man. awww shucks. this is sucha pointless post, ahwell.

I MISS MY GORILLA!!!!

he’s so skinny and soo diffrent now, im glad we bald him, now i can pick his ticks out, poor maxu.

DAMN THIS TICKS!!1

lucky the tick on him are a size of a seasme seed you have no idea HOW big they can get ( size of a penny)

ANYWAY WHILE researching on ticks i came across this website, cant stop tearing as i read, i mean seriously this kind of people lives?

PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS WEBSITE HAS GRUESOME PICTURES

DONT WATCH IF YOUR WEAK AT HEART, i regret going there, the pictures are on my eyelids now.

http://www.compassionforcamden.org/mean1.html

how does she do it?????

the papadam is bigger that the mouth of the container! and NONE IS BROKE. how????

going to be heelping her the next time she fries them.

GAHHH I LOVE HIM i just love taking pictures of him and most of the time he will hold a pose. he is awesome!!!!!!

Bonjour from a fran-tic household!

LOL. get the inside joke??

I miss me blog!!!!!!

RIGHT UPDATES!

Max got a hair cut ( he’s bald) – my nails were bent backward thanks to max’s leash – i rollerbladed with max and he brought me around i did no work – bahvani turned 18 – nikki turned 18 – i turned 18 – thani is yet to turn 18 – gomathi has a long way to go to get to 18 – got inspired and whipped out 3 drawings in a night ( all abstract) – got my mp3 back (whootwhoot) – meet an asshole – learnt about being impressed – got knocked back into reality – learnt from comparing my life to a normal Australia lifestyle mine is more boring – realized how much we need electricity from the blackout mayhem @ home, and out hot water flask being spoiled, and when i left my handphone @ home just for the day – learnt that you have to get concert tickets A MONTH BEFORE THE DAY booohooo beyonce I FREAKING LOVE YOU .

Bahvani birthday.

Nikki’s birthday.

MAX before & after math,

FROM THIS TO….

…..THIS!

DRAWING

33 MORE DAYS, MAKE OR BREAK? I DIE !

TILL THEN.

LOVE j.