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Its a surprise that i even have confidence, I mean my family, they are 100% sure I am dumb, 'HEYO UR TWENTY, YOU NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL, WE SHOULD SEND YOU TO ART SCHOOL SINCE THAT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO! I mean, Im NOT DUMB, I JUST SLACKED ALOT! My mom is the only one who says, i trust you, you can do it, you've never failed a test you studied for, yea right Einstein, it kills me thou what she says, Its just her trust in me, but it sounds like a slap to me, like 'BOOYAH you should have studied', i like really slacked for 2 years really, now im this dumb bitch, who cant even enter vocational school or even go to school for a short term course. Yea my brainic sister caught up with me, she's literally more educated than me. SIGH the only way i cant take a step any further is to have a shot at this years O's, Ive slacked like all my life, my 6std was the last i put my blood and sweat, after that my 7th and 8th i totally fuck cared and ever since i fuck cared, and that why i never got anywhere! I wish ill be allowed to do my o's, Im not going to work, mind you i worked full time when i was suppose to do my o's never went to school or any type of tutuion what so ever. Maybe if i did things would have been different. ARGH CRAP, i take things so easy in life, so easy its back to bite me in the back. SIGHHHHHH.
i know they want the best for me, ie, my uncle got on the comp for an hour and kept checking schools for me, really touched me man, i really cant put it words, but if i do art school where can i go from there? i firstly have to muster courage to join a art school, get confidence to get my work out there and learn all i can, then finish school have enough confidence to start or get hired, this whole thing is like gambling and i dont think i can pull myself through.
oh these suicidal thoughts, noooo.
back to square one, rock bottom.
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Finally unpacked, settled down. Feels sick. I never thought of coming back. It was so peaceful. Now, Humans they continue to be, uncertain. Tears cant relieve anything, It has been all silent screams. No one will ever know.
I'm fine, and you? Must be good isn't it, having everything normal. My life? the same, awesome.
Wish me luck, im starting my first ever decent sketch book.
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I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER!
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As in liked anyone other than the person i was attached with? i dont remember having any stable relationship at all, plus how life made me cynical, i dont think i'd be bothered.
honestly i dont get your question.
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TEMPLES IN THE SOUTH MAYNE gossssh, the devotees the living condition the stanky wells and the water spoils your hair, the hotels MEEEEH. horrible.
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Well thats a hard one, given that i dont eat anything im not comfortable or familiar with, its has to be oats it just tastes weird.
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I AM BACK TO BEING MESSED UP AND EMO, TRULY THE PEOPLE IM WITH BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN ME, HOW HOPELESS I CAN GET.
Funny thing is a day before i came back i was in true state of bliss nothing could bring me down, but now the littlest can make me break.
TOO MUCH OF LOVE AND TOO LITTLE OF IT kills, just like oxygen.
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OKAY WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE IDEA OF A TRAVEL DIARY?????????
Ill tell you what, thing dont happen the way its planned to be, correction 'dont ever happen'.
Thing is, its safe to get vaccine shots before traveling to some place (India) because of the living conditions here. BRAINY ME didn't get it because i was scared of jabs, but instead, the condition i was in while living here for 2 months made me get 4 in total.
theres so many pros cons here, i just can conclude anything. when im asked 'hows india, hows life there?' i go..... ' it sucks but its sucks good.' OKAYYY!!!!
So finding a school here has been the biggest problem, i wish i could i dont want to wait tables and attend to snobby rich bitches.
My friends here, are awesome, there is alot of complications and stuff but they are such good company. Turning 20 this year and my last year of being a teen is going awesome, i kinda did everything well not everything in a teenage list, threw house parties went to house parties, drank orange juice in the beach, drank orange juice while travelling, had awesome birthday parties gave awesome birthday parties, learned to ride a bike, rode a bike with 3 in minus degree 120 speed in a lonely road, traveled for days, cried together lived together, ate together, just like times in hostel but not a warden to stop us from drinking orange juice. all this happened in 2months just 2, i even introduced my friends to my family my true friends even thou it cost together them i finally introduced them i thought i never will yknow.
WILL CONTINUE...........
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Its a surprise that i even have confidence, I mean my family, they are 100% sure I am dumb, 'HEYO UR TWENTY, YOU NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL, WE SHOULD SEND YOU TO ART SCHOOL SINCE THAT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO! I mean, Im NOT DUMB, I JUST SLACKED ALOT! My mom is the only one who says, i trust you, you can do it, you've never failed a test you studied for, yea right Einstein, it kills me thou what she says, Its just her trust in me, but it sounds like a slap to me, like 'BOOYAH you should have studied', i like really slacked for 2 years really, now im this dumb bitch, who cant even enter vocational school or even go to school for a short term course. Yea my brainic sister caught up with me, she's literally more educated than me. SIGH the only way i cant take a step any further is to have a shot at this years O's, Ive slacked like all my life, my 6std was the last i put my blood and sweat, after that my 7th and 8th i totally fuck cared and ever since i fuck cared, and that why i never got anywhere! I wish ill be allowed to do my o's, Im not going to work, mind you i worked full time when i was suppose to do my o's never went to school or any type of tutuion what so ever. Maybe if i did things would have been different. ARGH CRAP, i take things so easy in life, so easy its back to bite me in the back. SIGHHHHHH.
i know they want the best for me, ie, my uncle got on the comp for an hour and kept checking schools for me, really touched me man, i really cant put it words, but if i do art school where can i go from there? i firstly have to muster courage to join a art school, get confidence to get my work out there and learn all i can, then finish school have enough confidence to start or get hired, this whole thing is like gambling and i dont think i can pull myself through.
oh these suicidal thoughts, noooo.
back to square one, rock bottom.
|
|
|
Finally unpacked, settled down. Feels sick. I never thought of coming back. It was so peaceful. Now, Humans they continue to be, uncertain. Tears cant relieve anything, It has been all silent screams. No one will ever know.
I'm fine, and you? Must be good isn't it, having everything normal. My life? the same, awesome.
Wish me luck, im starting my first ever decent sketch book.
|
|
|
I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER!
|
|
|
As in liked anyone other than the person i was attached with? i dont remember having any stable relationship at all, plus how life made me cynical, i dont think i'd be bothered.
honestly i dont get your question.
|
|
|
TEMPLES IN THE SOUTH MAYNE gossssh, the devotees the living condition the stanky wells and the water spoils your hair, the hotels MEEEEH. horrible.
|
|
|
Well thats a hard one, given that i dont eat anything im not comfortable or familiar with, its has to be oats it just tastes weird.
|
|
|
I AM BACK TO BEING MESSED UP AND EMO, TRULY THE PEOPLE IM WITH BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN ME, HOW HOPELESS I CAN GET.
Funny thing is a day before i came back i was in true state of bliss nothing could bring me down, but now the littlest can make me break.
TOO MUCH OF LOVE AND TOO LITTLE OF IT kills, just like oxygen.
|
|
|
OKAY WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE IDEA OF A TRAVEL DIARY?????????
Ill tell you what, thing dont happen the way its planned to be, correction 'dont ever happen'.
Thing is, its safe to get vaccine shots before traveling to some place (India) because of the living conditions here. BRAINY ME didn't get it because i was scared of jabs, but instead, the condition i was in while living here for 2 months made me get 4 in total.
theres so many pros cons here, i just can conclude anything. when im asked 'hows india, hows life there?' i go..... ' it sucks but its sucks good.' OKAYYY!!!!
So finding a school here has been the biggest problem, i wish i could i dont want to wait tables and attend to snobby rich bitches.
My friends here, are awesome, there is alot of complications and stuff but they are such good company. Turning 20 this year and my last year of being a teen is going awesome, i kinda did everything well not everything in a teenage list, threw house parties went to house parties, drank orange juice in the beach, drank orange juice while travelling, had awesome birthday parties gave awesome birthday parties, learned to ride a bike, rode a bike with 3 in minus degree 120 speed in a lonely road, traveled for days, cried together lived together, ate together, just like times in hostel but not a warden to stop us from drinking orange juice. all this happened in 2months just 2, i even introduced my friends to my family my true friends even thou it cost together them i finally introduced them i thought i never will yknow.
WILL CONTINUE...........
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Tagboard. Maximum width of 700px. Height can be infinite.
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Victoria Koh
Fifteen.
Singaporean.
Virgo.
Christian.
Dreamer.
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Just a mini profile of you here. Be sure to keep it short. (:
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If you have a Twitter account, put the code here.
Don't have? Remove this section or go sign up @ http://twitter.com/ and then go to http://tweet.sg/ to activate your number (if you are a Singaporean, that is).
Browser: Mozilla Firefox
Screen resolution: 1280 x 800 pixels
Established since: DD Month YYYY
Host: Blogger
Layout: Indie Devotee
Done by: Victoria
Music player.
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BLAHBLAHBLAH you feel down so?
