Being a grown up, responsibilites, a job, bills and expenses, social life. Has all gotten to me this year. The jobs I had werent very much respectable, common i have been clearing and wiping tables the whole year, It was shitty but i must add i learnt so much about happiness, i quit being a waitress after working at so many places, hotels restaurants and bars, I have gain a whole lot of experience and respect for the jobs people had around me.

Many asked and teased me of this job, if they hadn't said it, i know their thinking it, its not the best job in the world, if i have to do it all over again i would without sulking. but to me its a learning experience. I hate for people who look down on these jobs, to me anything involves hardwork deserves alot and i mean alot of appreciation. If you was put in a spot to get the job and you're skeptical about the way it works and choose not to, its definitely way better doing it then absolutely nothing at all

I am glad to be the one of very few in these times, to know and have choosen to live happy over status, i didnt come of the room with a condo and car keys in a hand and a credit card in the other, i believe no one has, unless your piddy's son or paris hilton or of the bill gates family tree.

To me, being a grown up is to manage with what you have and be able to be happy. My mom tells me, 'I feel so bad i can't do things for you i cant get you the stuff you want, it kills me to go out with you and watch you looking at things you'd want and i cant get you', she just does not realize it means alot to me to be out with her spending time.

You know little things like this, if you looked it the other way can make alot of difference.

I know I am not the brightest one from the bunch, but having the confidence to pull through still lives and strives in me, so here it is to all the people who think my story has ended, it hasn't, it is still going on, its just that i choose to take the long way around. learning itsy bits that will help me with my life lessons gained. this is exactly the meaning of my tattoo wrong way round, long way round. In case you wondering.

Thou i have to admit, its really hard to have family that damns you, friends that damns you. When i haven't met a friend of long time and we finally do, its hard for me to explain myself, i try and use my goofiness to side track, its hard and painful but i know ill get there. I do not have plans to execute well not just yet, but i have faith it will all fall into place, faith in me.

So this a wrap yall.
1 more week to india.

Labels: diary

Labels: tumblr

There's a fine line between love and hate. Love frees a soul and in the same breath can sometimes suffocate it. i walked that tightrope with all the gracefulness of an elephant, my head weighting me to the side of hate, my heart hoisting me to the side of love. it was a wobbly journey and sometimes i fall, sometimes i fell for long periods of time but never for too long.

There is no such thing as a free meal, everything comes at a cost to others, most of the time a cost to ourselves. whenever something is gained, it has been taken from another place. when something is lost it arrives elsewhere, there are the usual philosopical questions: why do bad things happen to good people? within every bad thing i see good and like wise within every good thing i see bad, however impossible it is to understand it or see it at the time, as humans we are the epitomes of life, in life there is always balance. life and death, male and female, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, win and lose, love and hate, lost and found.- Cecelia Ahern

After months, I finally finished the book,i usually never take me months to finish a Ahern book, but this particular story did, She kept brooding on the happenings that you could easily guess right about the past the conclusion of the whole story relies on 4 to 3 pathetic chapter, which was an utter disappointment for the rest of her stories the ending gets you sobbing throughout the last remaining chapters. Not a story i could relate to.

I am on the next book The gift.
we'll see how it goes.

Labels: Review

I AM SO BLOODY PISSED OFF, my sister runied my FAVORITE RING and she can dare argue with me that it was the way it  is, OMG seriously? IM PISSED OFF cus this is not the first, seriously i pay for the stuff and she wears and ruin's them? she does this always damn i wanna bitch slap her fat mouth.

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO, BEING LOCKED UP BY YOURSELF ALL DAY IN A ROOM?
internet duh.

here are my hourly does.

http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyLizzieMcGuire
The whole of lizzie macguire series, I know right. well best show ever.

http://www.youtube.com/user/malumtv?blend=1&ob=4
Malum tv only like the cutest uk based blogger, his series of top 60 names in various versions are awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/user/AKakaAmazing
akakaamzing, funny guy, makes desi jokes.

http://www.youtube.com/user/RenderingGlintFilms
Canadian indian flim makers, thier biswajit series are HILARIOUS

So I have been feeling-less, even if someone dies, i dont think i'd have a reaction.
Things around me have been that emotionally affecting.

Honestly speaking, I am a body alone, I have no idea where in search has my soul gone to, its enlightening actually I figured out many things about me, starting with, I can lay in bed up till 2 days straight and still manage to remain lazy and sleepy as hell, I am immune to the hot burning sun rays shining on my face through my windows and onto my bed where, me,my soulless body lays , I still manage to sleep through it, actually i sleep through many other things, my mom screaming at me to stay alive, my dog's early morning howlings, my phone ringing somewhere in the room, my sisters nose allergy and the god awful sounds she makes, my grandmothers mantra chanting for hours and hours and urghhh hours. I know i surprised myself alot indeed


And when I'm awake, I keep refreshing facebook and tumblr pages, yeah lets not get there, but just a point if it was a youtube video my refreshing would have got the guy a thousand a hour FML indeed. My phone has been ringing of two things, calls and batt low, which i still have yet to find, my clothes are all dumped in a big ass suitcase, my room is a mess, and my grandmum is on my neck telling me to pack 4 pairs of trousers, 4 shirts, yeah 4 of everything, and how long am i going to stay there? LONGER. urgggghhh.


Speaking of packing and all i have 20 days left and i met about 20% of people i have to meet out of 100%, Gosh how am i going to rush them into meeting yours truly? Firstly gotta find my soul, its like I have nothing in me, i haven't read finish this ceclia ahern book that im dying to find out how the climax is, I let my phone ring and just sit and hear it, my chat pop ups are insane and i never replied to any, oh i did BRB and i got the fuck off. For now i just wanna be there and not there.


Its funny how I am in this middle being emo and being positive, Its like 'bleah Im crappy' and ' HEYY im feeling crappy' Get it? me neither.


I bumped into a few friends of mine that i havent met in like a year, and from like feeling like a zombie i went into disney channel character, so bubbly and cheerful gah, why? how? 


Anway I seriously cant wait to leave these loca people mayne, seriously I sink into depression by just hearing their voice, its something like your trying to avoid and its just there staring at you, meh. disturbing, Speaking of leaving, the next person to ask me 'hmmmm so you leaving, what u gonna do?' your in for a show my friend, yeah enjoy me and all my bottled up emotions in your face your welcome. Knowing me, plans and me just a big no no, yeah how you gonna make in life blah blah blah look here CEO Im human i have instincts, ill manage to stay, i guess. but thats not the point, ill find my way around, dont worry about me getting married so young, who'd wanna marry me? i cant cook, i cant clean, i talk wayyy to much, and i have a temper of a beast.


Bleah, my life tales, exaggeration is key.
GTG.
ha, i read through my misery your humor enjoy ya routine life.

Lying on my back all day hurts like a bitch, I have packed my whole life into a suitcase, just gotta empty out my room now.

I have literally nothing to do, gotta be working out, but just lying around, here i come with a fat ass!

Being a grown up, responsibilites, a job, bills and expenses, social life. Has all gotten to me this year. The jobs I had werent very much respectable, common i have been clearing and wiping tables the whole year, It was shitty but i must add i learnt so much about happiness, i quit being a waitress after working at so many places, hotels restaurants and bars, I have gain a whole lot of experience and respect for the jobs people had around me.

Many asked and teased me of this job, if they hadn't said it, i know their thinking it, its not the best job in the world, if i have to do it all over again i would without sulking. but to me its a learning experience. I hate for people who look down on these jobs, to me anything involves hardwork deserves alot and i mean alot of appreciation. If you was put in a spot to get the job and you're skeptical about the way it works and choose not to, its definitely way better doing it then absolutely nothing at all

I am glad to be the one of very few in these times, to know and have choosen to live happy over status, i didnt come of the room with a condo and car keys in a hand and a credit card in the other, i believe no one has, unless your piddy's son or paris hilton or of the bill gates family tree.

To me, being a grown up is to manage with what you have and be able to be happy. My mom tells me, 'I feel so bad i can't do things for you i cant get you the stuff you want, it kills me to go out with you and watch you looking at things you'd want and i cant get you', she just does not realize it means alot to me to be out with her spending time.

You know little things like this, if you looked it the other way can make alot of difference.

I know I am not the brightest one from the bunch, but having the confidence to pull through still lives and strives in me, so here it is to all the people who think my story has ended, it hasn't, it is still going on, its just that i choose to take the long way around. learning itsy bits that will help me with my life lessons gained. this is exactly the meaning of my tattoo wrong way round, long way round. In case you wondering.

Thou i have to admit, its really hard to have family that damns you, friends that damns you. When i haven't met a friend of long time and we finally do, its hard for me to explain myself, i try and use my goofiness to side track, its hard and painful but i know ill get there. I do not have plans to execute well not just yet, but i have faith it will all fall into place, faith in me.

So this a wrap yall.
1 more week to india.

Labels: diary

Labels: tumblr

There's a fine line between love and hate. Love frees a soul and in the same breath can sometimes suffocate it. i walked that tightrope with all the gracefulness of an elephant, my head weighting me to the side of hate, my heart hoisting me to the side of love. it was a wobbly journey and sometimes i fall, sometimes i fell for long periods of time but never for too long.

There is no such thing as a free meal, everything comes at a cost to others, most of the time a cost to ourselves. whenever something is gained, it has been taken from another place. when something is lost it arrives elsewhere, there are the usual philosopical questions: why do bad things happen to good people? within every bad thing i see good and like wise within every good thing i see bad, however impossible it is to understand it or see it at the time, as humans we are the epitomes of life, in life there is always balance. life and death, male and female, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, win and lose, love and hate, lost and found.- Cecelia Ahern

After months, I finally finished the book,i usually never take me months to finish a Ahern book, but this particular story did, She kept brooding on the happenings that you could easily guess right about the past the conclusion of the whole story relies on 4 to 3 pathetic chapter, which was an utter disappointment for the rest of her stories the ending gets you sobbing throughout the last remaining chapters. Not a story i could relate to.

I am on the next book The gift.
we'll see how it goes.

Labels: Review

I AM SO BLOODY PISSED OFF, my sister runied my FAVORITE RING and she can dare argue with me that it was the way it  is, OMG seriously? IM PISSED OFF cus this is not the first, seriously i pay for the stuff and she wears and ruin's them? she does this always damn i wanna bitch slap her fat mouth.

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO, BEING LOCKED UP BY YOURSELF ALL DAY IN A ROOM?
internet duh.

here are my hourly does.

http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyLizzieMcGuire
The whole of lizzie macguire series, I know right. well best show ever.

http://www.youtube.com/user/malumtv?blend=1&ob=4
Malum tv only like the cutest uk based blogger, his series of top 60 names in various versions are awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/user/AKakaAmazing
akakaamzing, funny guy, makes desi jokes.

http://www.youtube.com/user/RenderingGlintFilms
Canadian indian flim makers, thier biswajit series are HILARIOUS

So I have been feeling-less, even if someone dies, i dont think i'd have a reaction.
Things around me have been that emotionally affecting.

Honestly speaking, I am a body alone, I have no idea where in search has my soul gone to, its enlightening actually I figured out many things about me, starting with, I can lay in bed up till 2 days straight and still manage to remain lazy and sleepy as hell, I am immune to the hot burning sun rays shining on my face through my windows and onto my bed where, me,my soulless body lays , I still manage to sleep through it, actually i sleep through many other things, my mom screaming at me to stay alive, my dog's early morning howlings, my phone ringing somewhere in the room, my sisters nose allergy and the god awful sounds she makes, my grandmothers mantra chanting for hours and hours and urghhh hours. I know i surprised myself alot indeed


And when I'm awake, I keep refreshing facebook and tumblr pages, yeah lets not get there, but just a point if it was a youtube video my refreshing would have got the guy a thousand a hour FML indeed. My phone has been ringing of two things, calls and batt low, which i still have yet to find, my clothes are all dumped in a big ass suitcase, my room is a mess, and my grandmum is on my neck telling me to pack 4 pairs of trousers, 4 shirts, yeah 4 of everything, and how long am i going to stay there? LONGER. urgggghhh.


Speaking of packing and all i have 20 days left and i met about 20% of people i have to meet out of 100%, Gosh how am i going to rush them into meeting yours truly? Firstly gotta find my soul, its like I have nothing in me, i haven't read finish this ceclia ahern book that im dying to find out how the climax is, I let my phone ring and just sit and hear it, my chat pop ups are insane and i never replied to any, oh i did BRB and i got the fuck off. For now i just wanna be there and not there.


Its funny how I am in this middle being emo and being positive, Its like 'bleah Im crappy' and ' HEYY im feeling crappy' Get it? me neither.


I bumped into a few friends of mine that i havent met in like a year, and from like feeling like a zombie i went into disney channel character, so bubbly and cheerful gah, why? how? 


Anway I seriously cant wait to leave these loca people mayne, seriously I sink into depression by just hearing their voice, its something like your trying to avoid and its just there staring at you, meh. disturbing, Speaking of leaving, the next person to ask me 'hmmmm so you leaving, what u gonna do?' your in for a show my friend, yeah enjoy me and all my bottled up emotions in your face your welcome. Knowing me, plans and me just a big no no, yeah how you gonna make in life blah blah blah look here CEO Im human i have instincts, ill manage to stay, i guess. but thats not the point, ill find my way around, dont worry about me getting married so young, who'd wanna marry me? i cant cook, i cant clean, i talk wayyy to much, and i have a temper of a beast.


Bleah, my life tales, exaggeration is key.
GTG.
ha, i read through my misery your humor enjoy ya routine life.

Lying on my back all day hurts like a bitch, I have packed my whole life into a suitcase, just gotta empty out my room now.

I have literally nothing to do, gotta be working out, but just lying around, here i come with a fat ass!