there are so many things that are like bothering me right now, today i looked into my wallet there was nothing, then i checked my bank account nothing NIL, i just got paid last month, i got both my pays from these two jobs i did towards the ending of last year, i got badly paid for the work (data entry, MF 1.50 per paper like 100 and more qns in each, ALL the schools in Singapore, wah time of my life, not a good thing!!!! and the other job a dish stacker, so unglam plus must work like damn hard ah), i worked like a dog, keep going and going but my pay was nothing, when i got my pay i pampered myself like nobody’s business like i spent 300+ in one day. the next day i had to pay my phone bill and i had nothing, i got my phone line cut for a week, i didn't have money to go out, yeah i had money for bus fare it was student price back then, it hit me real hard, like WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING, ok i can forgive my self for the pay i spent, but months before? i have been puffing my money away, i neglected school life, and i waste money on shiiiiiiit, i regret so much i did in life, said in life, i am not going to cry over spilt milk, i am just going to get up from my ass, dust my shoulders and walk at my pace until…

today, i went for like 4 interviews in a day, sure i got two call back, one paid so poor $4/1h are you freaking kidding me? ok if i work the minimum 4 hours i get $16 a day? how do you spell Pathetic? that's right i remembered, P, A, T, H, E, T, I, C. wow how shitty aye, if i work at this i cant buy groceries for my house, i wouldn't even pass the vegetable section, life here is hard for me because my lovely family has come to the decision where i have to pay my part for the family if not i will be kicked out, it so SUDDENLY happened that once your 18 you have to play your part, hmmmm i guess they started the rule with me, i just don't understand why my Indian family goes western only on certain issues that benefit them? ahwell life sucks, you either do something about in my case i cant, or go along with it , adapt to it and give it the famous finger, and by having being able to back it up.

Well other then getting a job, my other problem is school where the hell will i find a school? why is it that people don't help one another? hello all of us are going to go someday give a sister/brotha a hand!!! why is it so hard to tell me what you know about the school you went to why?????? , i am just enquiring not stealing an a famous recipe !!!! haish this kind of people i swear i don't have anything it say about it. learn it people its call FAVOUR or HELP or LENDING A HAND.

I am a teenager be a teenager enjoy your teenage year, i have told this to myself many times, i have tried living by it, i have tried juggling it, but it just wont work, its takes two to clap hands, sadly i don't have my family support, its not about money its  not always about money, i have realised my grandmother asking me to go work for a very long time, and she says it in the littlest things i do, like when i am washing the plate ‘ hmm u are doing sucha good job why don't you go wash some dishes somewhere and earn money’ and when i am drawing ‘wow you can draw up cards and sell it’ and so goes on, i know this might not sound bad but its kinda irritating when they start to hint on EVERYTHING you do, i don't know if she wants me to start saving or be dependent or something like that, but once she same up to me and told me why don't you stop studying, its clear you cant get anything up your head, start working and give the money to me, i was 16 going on 17 then, even my best friend told me that why are you studying its ok if you cant study. people around me were so negative, i don't know if they meant it that way but i took it that way when these were getting to my head, i told myself  i am a teenager be a teenager enjoy your teenage years, i was wrong, all my live i travelled alot i met so many people filthy rich and filthy poor, fucking pampered, fucking matured, i noticed their life's their mistakes their story's, but that's all i did NOTICE that's all, i never learnt from the story they told never took in mind the moral of the story nothing, i just went by with my life, that's a mistake i did, and now when i sit back and think of it my life is messed up, i am a troubled complex person, i don't have a perfect family or a family at all, the people i stay with clearly take me as a trouble, i really have to except my position and work along with it……. haish  really dont know where i am getting too but i really wanted to let people know, just listen, you might not be interested but it will be useful someday, you might even implement details onto your life, open up your eyes know what your friends are going through they might need you… a couple of consoling words or a speech to boost up confidence, anything at all.

Haish i have really no idea where i am getting to rambling my sorrows, i really did want to send this as a personal mail to two of my friends that i had been close to all my life well for about 6 years in total and the another 5 spent searching for them, but haish shit happens one is my late friend and the other one is someone i realised i cared for so much  i think about so much that i would actually admit to being in love but things like that don't work in my world.

OHHHH i have to say this, others this bus driver at my neighbourhood that greats EVERYONE individually who board  the bus, and says buy to EVERYONE who alights at every stop individually, he made me smile like crazy i learnt so much from him, now that is something you call the extra mile, i know they were trained to do it but this is like a miracle a man actually doing his job. && st_clinton, your words at form spring, you really are making a difference in someone’s life mine, i am going through a real hard time in my life right now, and your words even the littlest helps me in every single way.

alright that's it I AM SOO THANKFUL TO WHOEVER READS IT like 4 blocks of words? i would have given up.

toodles i have to wash dishes tomorrow from 11 to 11 in a BUSY hotel, FML!!!!! please let me know if there's any job vacancy, i totally forgot why would you!

takecaree people, save money, be independent, have a point of view, don't get influenced, have your own style, peace!

there are so many things that are like bothering me right now, today i looked into my wallet there was nothing, then i checked my bank account nothing NIL, i just got paid last month, i got both my pays from these two jobs i did towards the ending of last year, i got badly paid for the work (data entry, MF 1.50 per paper like 100 and more qns in each, ALL the schools in Singapore, wah time of my life, not a good thing!!!! and the other job a dish stacker, so unglam plus must work like damn hard ah), i worked like a dog, keep going and going but my pay was nothing, when i got my pay i pampered myself like nobody’s business like i spent 300+ in one day. the next day i had to pay my phone bill and i had nothing, i got my phone line cut for a week, i didn't have money to go out, yeah i had money for bus fare it was student price back then, it hit me real hard, like WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING, ok i can forgive my self for the pay i spent, but months before? i have been puffing my money away, i neglected school life, and i waste money on shiiiiiiit, i regret so much i did in life, said in life, i am not going to cry over spilt milk, i am just going to get up from my ass, dust my shoulders and walk at my pace until…

today, i went for like 4 interviews in a day, sure i got two call back, one paid so poor $4/1h are you freaking kidding me? ok if i work the minimum 4 hours i get $16 a day? how do you spell Pathetic? that's right i remembered, P, A, T, H, E, T, I, C. wow how shitty aye, if i work at this i cant buy groceries for my house, i wouldn't even pass the vegetable section, life here is hard for me because my lovely family has come to the decision where i have to pay my part for the family if not i will be kicked out, it so SUDDENLY happened that once your 18 you have to play your part, hmmmm i guess they started the rule with me, i just don't understand why my Indian family goes western only on certain issues that benefit them? ahwell life sucks, you either do something about in my case i cant, or go along with it , adapt to it and give it the famous finger, and by having being able to back it up.

Well other then getting a job, my other problem is school where the hell will i find a school? why is it that people don't help one another? hello all of us are going to go someday give a sister/brotha a hand!!! why is it so hard to tell me what you know about the school you went to why?????? , i am just enquiring not stealing an a famous recipe !!!! haish this kind of people i swear i don't have anything it say about it. learn it people its call FAVOUR or HELP or LENDING A HAND.

I am a teenager be a teenager enjoy your teenage year, i have told this to myself many times, i have tried living by it, i have tried juggling it, but it just wont work, its takes two to clap hands, sadly i don't have my family support, its not about money its  not always about money, i have realised my grandmother asking me to go work for a very long time, and she says it in the littlest things i do, like when i am washing the plate ‘ hmm u are doing sucha good job why don't you go wash some dishes somewhere and earn money’ and when i am drawing ‘wow you can draw up cards and sell it’ and so goes on, i know this might not sound bad but its kinda irritating when they start to hint on EVERYTHING you do, i don't know if she wants me to start saving or be dependent or something like that, but once she same up to me and told me why don't you stop studying, its clear you cant get anything up your head, start working and give the money to me, i was 16 going on 17 then, even my best friend told me that why are you studying its ok if you cant study. people around me were so negative, i don't know if they meant it that way but i took it that way when these were getting to my head, i told myself  i am a teenager be a teenager enjoy your teenage years, i was wrong, all my live i travelled alot i met so many people filthy rich and filthy poor, fucking pampered, fucking matured, i noticed their life's their mistakes their story's, but that's all i did NOTICE that's all, i never learnt from the story they told never took in mind the moral of the story nothing, i just went by with my life, that's a mistake i did, and now when i sit back and think of it my life is messed up, i am a troubled complex person, i don't have a perfect family or a family at all, the people i stay with clearly take me as a trouble, i really have to except my position and work along with it……. haish  really dont know where i am getting too but i really wanted to let people know, just listen, you might not be interested but it will be useful someday, you might even implement details onto your life, open up your eyes know what your friends are going through they might need you… a couple of consoling words or a speech to boost up confidence, anything at all.

Haish i have really no idea where i am getting to rambling my sorrows, i really did want to send this as a personal mail to two of my friends that i had been close to all my life well for about 6 years in total and the another 5 spent searching for them, but haish shit happens one is my late friend and the other one is someone i realised i cared for so much  i think about so much that i would actually admit to being in love but things like that don't work in my world.

OHHHH i have to say this, others this bus driver at my neighbourhood that greats EVERYONE individually who board  the bus, and says buy to EVERYONE who alights at every stop individually, he made me smile like crazy i learnt so much from him, now that is something you call the extra mile, i know they were trained to do it but this is like a miracle a man actually doing his job. && st_clinton, your words at form spring, you really are making a difference in someone’s life mine, i am going through a real hard time in my life right now, and your words even the littlest helps me in every single way.

alright that's it I AM SOO THANKFUL TO WHOEVER READS IT like 4 blocks of words? i would have given up.

toodles i have to wash dishes tomorrow from 11 to 11 in a BUSY hotel, FML!!!!! please let me know if there's any job vacancy, i totally forgot why would you!

takecaree people, save money, be independent, have a point of view, don't get influenced, have your own style, peace!